Seeking feedback on a couple of little ditties
I've been working on my uke skills with some unexpected free time. On a whim I'm headed to the studio to record one song for a songwriter's contest this evening. But which song should I enter?
Below are the two newest songs that I recorded experimenting with my new camera before the batteries went dead (hence the blurry image, but you don't need to see me to hear the song). You can find my other original songs under the "music" tab on this page that were recorded last year.
It's free to listen to all my music on the internet. So, if you have a few minutes, let me know which of the seven tunes I've created on uke that you like the best or hate the least to help me figure out which song I should enter in the contest. Thanks!
Finding inspiration for National Poetry Month
Last year I failed the 30/30 challenge of writing a poem a day for National Poetry Month by starting late and only getting through about 15 poems. I don't do well writing in the car and that's where I seem to spend most of my time in April as we bring Poetry Alive! to schools in a frenzy for the month.
This year I started at Doo-Nanny in my little nook above the main stage until the typewriter was rained out while helping save Resistance Force and the other electronic equipment and instruments on stage from the storm. I gave away the few poems I managed to type before the storm without mass producing them for all on the interwebs. Some sayings are too powerful to simply drop them into the general pool of thought anyway.
I didn't have much time to be sad about the typewriter malfunction anyway since the Screaming Js joined me on the upper deck to dance the night away and sing the sun up instead. When I got the typewriter home, my roommate gave it some TLC and it's back in working order again, but it's a bit awkward to carry everywhere I go.
However, I found time last weekend to sneak in a poem the old fashioned way with pen and ink. In fact, I reminded myself that my favorite place to write really is sitting at the bar while conversation is bubbling and the band is setting up. This past Saturday I discovered that strange pocket of calm while the storm danced on the horizon right before it all began.
Here are the couple of "doo-dads" (as Dorothy Parker liked to call them) from the book so far this month:
Note to self
Many hands to lift you
Will you continue to soar
touching down so lightly
so as to barely make a sound?
There is nothing you can't do now,
but what will you choose?
Flow
Spinning circles
Dropping into now
Among many other nows
All the rapid fire river
Splashing over rough spots
Washing it all away.
What was it that snagged the movement?
Eddying stagnant pools
Eventually wash on past the sediment
Sentimentally left behind
Rushing on to merge as one
Until the heat of a star
Calls the individual molecules
Skyward.
Isolation
I missed blogging in February, but no one had any comments about January's post, so it seemed silly to force a blog if I'm writing in isolation anyway. Life has been moving fast lately, and I must admit I've kept a lot of it spinning in my head searching for clues and answers.
I don't know many "normal" people very well. It seems they have little to say to me and rarely understand what I'm talking about anyway. I always attract the storied characters. Perhaps I just have that look that says, "Tell me your story because this inane gossip I've been listening to is boring me to tears." Take for instance the girl in the parking lot trying to find her boyfriend when I was dropping off a friend. Somehow she decided I was "safe" to tell her predicament to even though she'd never seen me before and probably would never see me again. Or even deeper, the boy in juvie who found the need to open up to me about the death of a friend while he was locked up. Even though I'm not emotionally attached to these people they instantly feel safe sharing what they haven't dared say to another person.
On the flip side, I find myself unable to begin to express what I think and feel about the recent experiences. My tour partner and I can talk about it to some extent, but as soon as we're done with the work he has a wife and friends from home who need his attention. Most people are too busy with their own agendas to care about the state of human existence. Many people fain interest in what the media shoves down our throats as "news," but most are too caught up in their little tread mills of existence to ponder doing anything about making the world around them a better place. Oddly, the one person who did show interest this week was a child. While waiting on his dad to finish the business of talking to fans he turned to me and started asking real questions that most adults make a false assumption of knowing the answers to already. I left him with more questions.
It was also pointed out to me in the past week that I'm "in the prime of your life and wasting yourself by keeping a travel schedule that prevents having a boyfriend." Granted this came from a group of guys who were travelling for work and playing the game of flirtation with me between sets. If it's normal that no matter how well I sing or play with the band the men will always focus on how I look and dance, then I'll gladly continue to steer clear of normal.
For eight years there was someone in my life that I could communicate with on an intimate level until we finally grew apart. Not all relationships last forever and before we damaged each other any further it became time to move on to the next phase of our lives. I must admit, I had held out hope that we would grow together and spend the rest of our lives travelling the world, but that wasn't meant to be and it's been eight months now since we've exchanged words.
A friend once gave me a laminated card with the quote "Longing itself is proof that what we long for exists." It's that longing that one day I will travel to explore the rest of this planet through music and poetry with an intimate companion that keeps me climbing up out of the dark hole of despair. Some days though, when I've had not a dollar to my name for weeks and the government decides to demand more taxes from my empty account, there's not much I can do but sit in silence to try to regain my focus.
My friend Deborah Edler Brown has a line in one of her poems about unzipping your skin to walk naked in the space between relationships. I must admit I'm a bit jaded and tired and have hid my vulnerability beneath false bravado and a big black leather coat this winter. Spring is coming though and soon I'll have to shed those layers to allow the sunlight to reach my skin.
What do you believe?
I recently engaged in a private dialog with someone who claimed that though Muslims declare Islam "honors women" and is a "religion of peace" that the opposite is true. I decided to share some of my portion of the dialog and open it up to others to share their ideas and beliefs.
I'm sure Muslims have done horrible things in the name of Allah the same way Pope Urban II in 1095 convinced Christians to wage a "holy war against the infidels" starting the crusades.
I believe through my life experience and the teachings I have read so far that God infuses all life and through the prophets Jesus, Muhammad, Bahá'u'lláh, the Buddha, and others sent his message of love to the various human cultures around the world. The political leaders who wrote down and translated the teachings of Jesus & Muhammad wanted to control population more than teach God's love. Greed and pride twist words into laws that have nothing to do with God.
I believe it is our individual duty to find our personal connection with God through the teachings we are given, but in order to be world citizens we must also learn to find the common ground between the different teachings. I don't believe we can truly love our neighbors until we stop negating their belief systems and start finding the common ground that brings us back to love.
So, none of us may be "right," but between us we can find a truth to agree upon that allows us to coexist peacefully.
As far as I can tell from research, Muhammad did not write or use the Koran to control people himself. Much like Jesus he shared the divine revelations he received by preaching "one god" to the common people. His followers wrote down the revelations much like Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, and Paul did for Jesus.
Then, governments like the Roman Empire and the Ottoman Empire used the texts of these prophets to control their population. Much like Judaism divides between Ashkenazi or Sephardi and Orthodox or Reform, Christianity has a split first between Orthodox and Roman Catholics and later between Protestant and Catholic. Islam, the youngest of these religions, already has a split in belief between Sunni and Shiite Muslims. These splits have more to do with government policy and fundamentalist extremism than what the prophet had to say about spirituality. (Read Hama Rules for a bit of journalism from Thomas L. Friedman about how our buddies the secular Syrian government dealt with fundamentalist Muslims in Hama in 1982 and the repercussions of that event.)
I reread a version of the Hopi Prophecy last night and was struck by this quote:
"It is only materialistic people who seek to make shelters. Those who are at peace in their hearts already are in the great shelter of life. There is no shelter for evil. Those who take no part in the making of world division by ideology are ready to resume life in another world, be they Black, White, Red, or Yellow race. They are all one, brothers."
When we are born into this world we have no control over what laws and spiritual teachings will guide us into maturity, but we do have a choice about whether we will battle our neighbor over which of us worships the "correct" way. No one wants to be told they were raised "wrong" but we have a chance of bridging cultural gaps if we continue to look for and share God's truths hiding in each of these texts that have been watered down with Man's greed & desire to control.
For a little further reading, if you're interested, here's a link to the basic teachings of a nineteenth century prophet who appeared in the middle east. Baha'u'llah is the first prophet to have written down his own revelations as well as lay out a democratic form of world government that does not include an elite or "divine" clergy, but puts the burden of spiritual and societal development on the believers themselves. He also has quite a bit to say about the oneness of religion validating the prophets who came before him and how each of them has appeared to aid in the evolution of mankind.
I'm curious to know your thoughts and wish peace to all.
Solstice Prayer
While waiting up for the lunar eclipse (despite the clouds that hid it from view in the wee wee hours between midnight and day) I wrote a little prayer that helped me focus on this period of transition as we start the cycle of the new year. I offer it to you to whisper to the wind as well or take as inspiration to create your own.
Walk naked through the dark
Let go of doubt & fear
Step bravely into this moment
Trust that there will be
a hand to hold
food to eat
shelter from the storm
Waste no energy worrying whether what your hands create
is beautiful enough
strong enough
or will last long enough
Rather do and continue to do the best able
Welcome all to the feast at the table
Love
Before you go, here's another fledgling poem which emerged from the dark as the days finally gathered another few moments of light.
Healing a broken bird
Requires strong articulate gentle hands
That tell the story of a quick mind
Which can flip a clever trick
With a voice that whispers serenity
To light tired eyes
Relax the constricted larynx to song
Breathing new flight into wings longing to soar
Giving it all away
If October was Rocktober, then November must have been Noremember because it simply flew by too darn fast. Without time to look back, we're on a crash course with the turn of the tide at the winter solstice and the end of another year. It's also the time of year where expectations and traditions start boxing with the cycles of change and transformation the season brings. As we head into the longest, darkest night tempers flare and tears are shed by many torn apart by the demands placed upon them by friends, family, and mostly themselves to do and give more with less.
Last year I watched my house slide into foreclosure after giving away most of my possessions to friends and neighbors. I finally surrendered the rest to be disposed of by whoever ended up in there once I was gone. I can tell you this for certain, in the year since then I have never once felt I needed any of those things. Even my beloved dog Isis has grown into her destined job as pack leader of the mountain dogs caring and cheering the "old man of the mountain" who was the best neighbor I could have asked for in the six years I lived there. She's also my excuse to go check on him--, I mean visit.
While this year has still not been financially bountiful, I have found plenty of blessings to lift me along the road toward the next place. Mostly I have regained a freedom that I didn't even know I was missing under the burden of "too much stuff."
Needless to say, I will not be going to the mall this year with a list of purchases of "stuff" for family, friends, and neighbors. I believe that only by shedding last year's baggage can we open our hands to accept what the new year has to offer. So, though tears may fall over what I can't afford, I continue the practice of gifting away what I have to those who need it. Sometimes that may only be a listening ear or a shoulder to cry on for a friend who is blue. But, what is more precious than your time? This year consider spending your gift of presence on the people present in your life.
Before you go, here's a little prayer for the blues in you:
Singing through a rain of tears
Sad songbird too tired of worldly woes
Weak from all that's been withdrawn
Barely holding on to melody
Pouring out all that remains
Longing to be left alone
May you find honey
To sweeten your song
Filling you with hope again.
Rocktober Spinning
Have you ever paused to consider what grabs most of your attention and thought during your waking hours and how that compares to your dreams? How many of us are simply free falling forward into the next "squeaking wheel" that needs tending? Today's world of communication is constantly interrupted by phone calls, text messages, emails, facebook and the person in your face telling you what you should be doing for them while ignoring the person behind them who has what they need.
It has become a luxury to take time to think for yourself without somebody trying to sell you an idea, image, or product. Many may call you selfish or lazy for not giving them your full attention, but without personal reflection it's easy to lose your center causing damage to yourself and those around you as you careen out of control.
I'm guilty of this rocking into October spinning circles along the highways for Poetry Alive! shows, saying farewells to friends transitioning to new projects that spiral them further away, completing all the steps to apply for North Carolina Artists Fellowship Grant (deadline is Nov. 1 for all you artists out there looking for financial aid), jazzing with the Red Hot Sugar Babies, making new friends and connections through music, hustling to find work that makes dollars and sense, and all the while adjusting to a new home that has spent the month in transition as two of us moved in and changed the balance of the space the four of us now call home. In other words, this month has been a chain of run-on sentences allowing little time to think about what I'm doing before I find myself doing it.
Finally, after running rough shod over a few friends, I hit the pavement literally when a "trash can jumped in front of me" while riding my bike "hell bent for leather," as my mother would say. It's not the first time and probably won't be the last, but over the years I may have gotten better at minimizing the damage when I do crash (though it takes time to heal the relationships). I still bleed & bruise, but I also heal quickly as I take the time to adjust my energy through Qigong & Reiki which I began to practice after moving to Asheville.
Seeing the human energy field.
I remember wandering into Essential Arts in Asheville to look at the pretty rocks and seeing an image of chakras for the first time that matched the colors of the opal, amethyst, blue zircon, and green turquoise I had instinctively found to wear as jewelry for my ears, neck, and wrists. I realized I'd armored myself on the road to help stop the pain. I began to understand how much my health was based on proper alignment of my body from musculoskeletal system to energy field. What the American corporations that sell you their patented drugs and health care (and who now pay for the candidates currently up for election) never advertise is that most of this cannot be fixed by one of their pills, fad diets, or surgeries. In fact, many of the pills they sell you hide the pain while creating new problems. If something natural can heal you, they've been doing whatever they can to keep it from you in order to increase their profits since at least as far back as the 1930s when Dupont and Hearst succeeded in prohibiting Hemp. True health care reform will only come when Americans change their consciousness about healing from something that someone else must sell you to something that you do daily for yourself. If you haven't already, check out this grassroots documentary film that explores where eastern philosophy and western science meet at quantum physics:
Natural science continues to unveil the natural design of the world and how we have the ability to find balance within that framework. American corporate science continues to find ways to manufacture profit. As we head this week into the harvest festival at summer's end or "Samhain" (also referred to as Halloween, Féile na Marbh, Ayamarca, etc. depending on which culture of this planet you were raised within) consider what you have harvested this year and your own balance of health in the natural world.
Currently, I'm inspired by a couple of the most focused and naturally healthy people I know who are rocking with their ukuleles this weekend. The first is my new roommate and registered nurse Lin Llewelyn who is headed with her ukulele love wave to the Rally to Restore Sanity in Washington, D.C. The second is ukulelerockstar Ami Worthen of The Mad Tea Party who (in addition to a seasonal record release of Rock-n-Roll Ghoul) is urging political radicals this month to leave Asheville's much loved Mad Tea Party alone at election time:
However you celebrate this transition time of year, I hope you find time to love and care for yourself so that you may share that healthy love with the people calling, texting, facebooking, and in your face. I'll be doing a little bit of work each day myself to meet you there.
Summer of Stars
This past summer has been full of amazing folks who inspire me to keep on keeping on making the dream come alive. Thank you to all those who live for a living, this is a little gift for all of you.
Thanks to Dan Petrella for recording some of my original songs with my little ukulele I got last November from Lora Pendleton too! You can listen to all five songs we recorded this week when you sign up for my mailing list at ReverbNation. But for my blog buddies here's one more:
LAAFFing September 2010
Below you'll find a quick tour of some of the things I've seen since September started moving along with the music of the Rhythm Rascals Hank Bones & Mike Gray who I recorded Johnny Mercer's Ac-Cen-Tchu-Ate the Positive with back in January. You'll just have to imagine the gorgeous day Red Hot Sugar Babies had Saturday playing the bandstand at Antler Village on the Biltmore Estate with special guest Hank Bones since I didn't take pictures that day. Most of the photos are from the view at the Magnetic Poetry Van yesterday at the Lexington Avenue Arts & Fun Festival. Thanks to everyone for playing this weekend! I'll be back out to play again with the Red Hot Sugar Babies on Wednesday evening at the Wedge.
Tip Jar Economy
Everyone I know is trying to sell something. Whether it's a piece of jewelry they made or a life insurance policy. I wonder where timber mogul William Randolph Hearst was when they decided to allow consumers to use paper as legal tender after he helped ban the industrial hemp that George Washington grew. Regardless, our lives are now planned around pieces of greenish paper and how they flow through our hands.
I felt like a "sell-out" putting Google ads on this website for a while, but they never paid enough for the bother. I finally put a donate button right below the booking link a year ago, but I don't think anyone has ever clicked that button. I do get some booking emails though (that aren't spam) and actually turn real ideas into real dollars. Really though this blog has always been a labor of love. If I didn't love it, I wouldn't do it. If I love it for all it can be, then like a well-watered garden it begins to grow.
So, here are a couple fresh new songs out of the notebook free for you to read. You may even find me singing them on a street corner near you. If you feel so moved you can always leave a tip through the "feed the muse" button whether in the form of dollars now or ideas for dollars later.
* * * * * * * *
Moving On
See that train a coming?
Gonna jump that open car
Let it take me far -- down the track.
My baby's up & left me
Now there's nothing to hold me back.
Been blue too many days,
Now it's time to move on with this pack.
See that shooting star,
Blazing cross the sky?
That's what I'm a-chasing as you see me zooming by
And I may never catch it,
But I'm sure to learn to fly.
I've been caught in a lazy haze
Now it's time to touch the sky.
Don't tell me I can't do it
Because my heart and will are set
If you don't bet on me,
You're bound to lose your hat.
You see I've had enough of crying
Listened to far too much a-lying,
Now this light is going to shine as bright as it can get.
* * * * * * * *
Holiday
Won't you take me down
to where the water is cool?
Just hold my hand a while
Listening to crickets woo.
Tell me a story,
Doesn't have to be true,
Of something that made you smile
Talk of laughter too.
Let's shed society's shackles,
That gossip raises my hackles.
Just whisper something sweet
& it will be a treat.
There's sunshine in your smile,
Starlight in your eyes,
Your voice is an angel's melody
Straight from heaven & that's no lie.
Feed the Muse!
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